Sword in the Stone

I had the opportunity the other night to catch up with a college friend who I haven’t seen all that much since we left school despite the fact we both live in the same city and only a couple of miles from each other. Sometimes life gets in the way of being able to share it with friends.

She has recently split from her boyfriend of three years so as we artistically installed a toilet paper holder and began to clean her new apartment our talk naturally led to the boys that we have shared beds with. Recounting my past to a good friend who has been first hand to witness a couple of my juicy stories was like looking through an old photo album – it’s full of all kinds of memories: some beautiful, others ugly.

She called me her provocative friend and I’ll take that as a compliment. While I haven’t left a trail of broken hearts in my wake I have lived my adult life with a carpe diem M.O. If I see something I want and it is available to me I take it and don’t see a problem with that. To me I need as much of a connection with a guy physically as I do with their personality. Because of this I usually opt for running the bases faster than I probably should. I’d honestly rather know if the sexual chemistry is there or not before I get to know a guy really well and potentially fall for his personality to only wind up disappointed when things finally progress into the bedroom.

At some point during the night the following was brought to my attention: I propel guys in to committed relationships…. with other women. I truly do not know what to make of this realization. While it is not true with every guy I have had relations with, it has happened a handful of times. It makes me reflect about myself… I have said for years from my experiences that it seems like guys want to sleep with a redhead to see if the stereotypes are true, but they want to date a blonde or brunette. I don’t deny that there are many quirks that come with being a redhead that I wouldn’t have if I had been born with a different hair color. But I’d like to believe that my being a redhead ensures that the long haul will be a memorable one worth taking rather than just only good enough for a one-night test drive.

Is there something about me that is both the cause of a guy not wanting to be in a relationship with me but also the catalyst that causes them to rush out there to find a woman to be all heavy and serious with? That might be the most hurtful thing that could be said to me. I know I’m quirky and at times difficult, but at the end of the day to steal a line from a Julia Roberts movie: “After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

If this realization is true, that I in fact push boys in to serious relationships with other women, well then I should start charging for my services! I don’t deny that it is slightly ironic, however I choose for the time being until proven differently to look at the situation in another light. Those boys were not worthy; they could not handle me and therefore had to look elsewhere for a potentially lesser woman. I am the sword in the stone waiting for the right knight to set me free from my stone prison.

On a totally different note, I am completely in love with Poco’s “Keep On Trying”. If you have never listened to it, give it a try it’s an old school classic that you might enjoy.