The Life and Times of a Grown-Up Red

So over the past few months I've realized that when I'm actually happy, my blogger muse goes on vacation. I'm not exactly sure what that says about me as a person... that I have nothing to write about when things are actually going well in my life but I'd much rather be happy and not blogging than to be miserable and writing.

With that being said, I, Red, have been in an actual relationship for over a month now. After 28 years and many failed attempts I found a man who wanted to claim me and make me his girlfriend - not only that, he didn't dick around dragging things out to decide if he was really interested or not. And I couldn't be happier. Perhaps that's why I haven't been able to come up with a nickname for him since he's far more real than any of the boys I have nicknamed in the past. He is my boyfriend and he is a man, not a boy - and that makes all the difference in the world.

This is all new ground I'm walking and it's completely terrifying, but I'm enjoying it completely. Getting to know the bf over the last couple of months has made me realize that I never really LIKED any of the boys from my past even if in the moment I thought I did. It puts everything in to perspective and makes me slightly embarrassed over the emotional drama I've gone through crying over boys who weren't even worth my time let alone my tears.

Who knows, maybe this was my version of celibacy until marriage - I was subconsciously just waiting for the right man to come along before I exchanged boyfriend/girlfriend labels, choosing not to waste my time and effort on those who were not worthy of it.

No one can predict the future and I'm well aware that we're still in that everything is sunshine and rainbows early stages of a relationship, but we've had way more gut wrenching, real conversations than most couples do in their first year of dating. We talk about our potential future and it's scary but makes me excited about what might happen rather than making me want to run to save myself from the hurt if it doesn't happen. I absolutely love that he looks like a bad ass, that he served our country (as a Marine no less... that's hardcore manly shit), and yet on the inside he's a sweetheart. It's the best of both worlds and what I've been attempting to find for all these years. Who knew that it would only take an old friend from high school to get married and a re-introduction to her little bro for me to find what I've been looking for.