So through the beauty of the internet that provides too much information with minimal effort, I discovered last night that Benedick is apparently now in a relationship. Quick look out your window you might see a pig flying by. I don't know what to make of the news, not to mention the fact that I despise the announcement on facebook when someone changes their status from "single" to "in a relationship". Really? Do y'all need to announce this to everyone on your friends list? I just feel like it's tacky - not to mention it can be evil to people on your friends list who might be caught unawares.
Let's rewind for a minute to February when Benedick was attempting to see me and spend the night - he ended up canceling at the last minute but now I'm beginning to think that the reason he gave may have not been the truthful one. Then there was the dinner wager that we both knew meant far more than just dinner in March. Not to mention our IM convos a few weeks ago where he played 20 questions with me trying to dig into my personal life to see if he was the last guy I'd been with. I can only assume now that all of this happened while he was dating a girl. If we go back to Jan of '08 Benedick was being all crazy when he figured out that I had been hanging out with another guy while flirting with him. Clearly it's okay for him to DATE someone while making plans with me (even if nothing has happened in over a year) but I'm supposed to be sitting on my couch patiently waiting for him to decide he wants to see me again? Hello douche-bag the nice guy society called and they want your membership back.
He's the type of guy I NEVER thought would be dating someone before me let alone announcing it to the world on facebook. I feel betrayed and humiliated. Personally I think that if he had started dating someone he should have told me. I guess I should be happy that thanks to that f-ing announcement on my facebook homepage I couldn't stop looking at last night I know the truth and can get off the messed up merry-go-round that is what this was between the two of us.
It's not that I want to be with him. It's the fact that of all people I never expected him to be dating someone while I'm going on 2 years without having been on a date. I wish him the best, I truly do, but part of me still feels like I'm the best girl for him and he's such a moron for not seeing it - even though he's not the right guy for me.
On the other hand, Mr. Tight-end was supposed to come over Friday night but we had to take a rain check. I know, I know... SUCH a bad idea but it's been over a year and I really am at a point where I want a real, adult relationship - which also means waiting before clothes come off. And for me to be able to accomplish that I need to have some prior play time with a boy so I can wait it out with a worthy dude. Will Mr. Tight-end and I play again? At this point in time it's all talk and no action, I'll believe it when he rings my doorbell.
Then there's Casper... who perhaps just might be one of those members of the male species that is quickly going extinct - a nice guy. On top of that I think he's a SHY nice guy (the rarest kind of all). Which means that all the rules I've played by don't work. This could be a very good thing but right now I don't know where he stands with me and I also don't know how I feel about him. I do know that I had a blast hanging out with him one on one and that there wasn't even a moment of awkwardness which has to say something. I need to hang out with him again to be able to get a better feel for the situation. I know that I could really like him - and that terrifies me a bit since Casper is not at all like the guys I normally go for. In the end that may be exactly what I need right now in my life.
Benedick's new status did send me into a tailspin of emotion last night. Like being battered by waves crashing onto a shore the only thought that kept running through my head was that it's become quite clear with my past that I am the girl guys want to sleep with but none of them want to date. Ignoring the fact that every girl knows if they sleep with a guy right away they are throwing out the chance of becoming the girlfriend... sometimes sex can lead to a relationship but generally it doesn't.
But overall what's the factor that moves a girl from the "I want to sleep with her" to the "I have to date her" category? 'Cause clearly I'm missing something. I'm in my late 20s and through partially my own reasons of deciding not to date I have managed to make it through life without ever being called a girlfriend. While I'm brutally hard on myself I've always thought of myself as someone who would make an amazing girlfriend. Yet the only guys who want to date me are ones I am neither mentally or physically attracted to. I refuse to settle just so I don't have to wake up alone in the morning.
So guys, what qualities factor in when you meet a girl and are deciding on if you want to marry, sleep with, or throw her off a cliff?
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2 comments:
So... what's happening? It's been 6 weeks!
I know, I suck. But awesome to know someone is paying attention to my posts (or lack thereof)!
A lot has happened but I've been working on how to put it all into words.
But I now have a homework assignment this week to keep my fingers busy while I watch So You Think You Can Dance auditions.
Check back soon for an update.
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