The female version of Chuck?

Granted, I've never actually seen the movie. But the premise of Good Luck Chuck, is a man who somehow has the luck of being the last guy a girl sleeps with before she finds "the one". The catch is, that he isn't "the one" for any of them.

A friend of mine once commented how I have a true talent in pushing guys in to serious relationships.... with other women. Does that in some way make me a Yenta? Not that I introduce the guys to the women they are currently with, but perhaps they wouldn't have chose them had they not been with me first. Maybe I should start charging for this service... wait, money in exchange for sex would make me a hooker. Somehow I don't see a Pretty Woman ending should I go down that road.

Logical minds would say that this is all just a coincidence, that my only role in the equation is my exit. That they could have easily have found their current girl any time after sleeping with any other girl. But I have my doubts and when has anyone known me to be truly logical.

Case in point:

The First... he married the girl after me. I think they are divorced now but that has all to do with his true character of being a cheater than anything else.

The Cowboy... after I left for Europe he began a serious relationship with another staff member that carried over at least to the next summer.

Another has bought a house with his current girlfriend, which I can assume will lead to marriage.

Mr. Dishonesty is living with his current girlfriend and their wedding announcement was featured in a good friend's nightmare that could turn in to reality.

And now, The Wanderer is in love... though I'm guessing he has been for awhile. I wish him nothing but the best. But that at least puts a possible sequel to the weekend we had on hold. And causes me to be embarrassed over an email I sent out while giggly off wine. Does that mean Benedick is next? (Maybe he already has someone seeing as how he's gone totally MIA from my life).

It makes me have to question what it is about me or maybe more appropriate, about being with me that allows these guys to walk away from me to find the women they want to be with. While I will readily admit that none of them are my "one", I'm generally left confused as to the choice they made. Thanks to myspace I have photo confirmation that at least looks wise none of them traded up. I'm no Jessica Alba, but I think I have the upper-hand when it comes to attractiveness on most of them. And since most days I don't like looking at my own reflection that comment is totally not said in any conceited manner. If they had traded up, well then good for them... but if they didn't? I can't reason out why they would prefer to be with someone mediocre rather than me. Sure I'm neurotic, stubborn, emotional, and a little crazy - but that just means I'll keep things interesting.

The fact of the matter is that I don't want to be with any of them either - and I guarantee my feelings of not wanting to be with them are far stronger than their feelings towards me. Yet they left me to find someone else while I stay single... at least until the next guy comes along who I can help with finding the girl they truly want to be with. It's a little bit ironic, don't you think? If it happened once, OK. Twice, that's an odd coincidence, but to have 4 guys I got to know intimately move on to become completely serious with the girl right after me? That's more than a coincidence. And since I rarely keep in touch with guys I've slept with, there could be more than 4 of them with their right after Red girl. (And this is the closest I will also get to announcing my number on a public forum).

All of this has reaffirmed my current choice of being celibate. Sure George Michael once sang that "sex is natural, sex is good." But I'm done with serving a purpose only to be cast aside. Sex for sex's sake is vacant and of no interest to me. I'm holding out for the za za zoo.

I was told once by one of them how amazed they were that I could be so frank and honest with myself about my faults. That I had a distinct ability to reflect on who I am in a disengaged sort of way. At the time I took it as a compliment... but maybe it wasn't. The thing is, a lot of my faults I like to think of as quirks. They are also aspects of my personality that I cannot change as much as I would love to. I will always be a blusher, and I will always cry easily. I may have faults, but at least I am honest about who I am to those in my life, which is better than the majority of people can say.

But that's a tangent best saved for another rainy day.

The Road Less Travelled...

With gas prices skyrocketing, most people travel from point A to point B the shortest/fastest way possible with no details. Generally I would agree, however I have a wanderers soul that takes over every once in awhile. That happened today while on my way to Mom's.

I decided to pick up the highway a different way than normal, which turned out to not work since it put me on to 101 instead of 93N. I detoured but wasn't paying attention and ended up missing my chance to get on 93, but saw a bunch of trucks going straight and figured where trucks go there is generally another route to the highway.

My detour took me on the 28 bypass, the compass in my car told me I was heading North so even though I didn't know where I was, I knew I was going the right direction since Concord is North of Manchester. After awhile I started to see signs pointing me towards Concord - yay me!

The best part of taking new routes is that you of course, see new sites. I went through some very run down areas of NH with house after house falling apart around those living in them. I also saw some amazingly kept up antique houses that I would kill to see the inside of - a "if these walls could only talk" moment.

I always think of myself as someone who has no sense of direction, but when I wind up in situations like the one today, I end up getting to where I am supposed to be. I guess I don't give myself enough credit.

My impromptu road trip made realize how much I miss the open road. Some day I will drive fully across country and back. There's so much Americana to see off the beaten path, so many roads that have stories to tell... and sooner or later I'll see all of it.